Two suns are cooling

Two suns are cooling - O save me, God!

The first - in heavens, the second - in heart.
Will I have an excuse for that? -
Both suns made me fully mad!
No pain from the beams - they're lost!
Hotter sun will be frozen first.

- MARINA TSVETAEVA

From Barthes's prefatory material to Tricks

Homosexuality shocks less, but continues to be interesting; it is still at that stage of excitation where it provokes what might be called feats of discourse. Speaking of homosexuality permits those who "aren't" to show how open, liberal and modern they are; and those who "are" to bear witness, to assume responsibility, to militate. Everyone gets busy, in different ways, whipping it up.

Yet to proclaim yourself something is always to speak at the behest of a vengeful Other, to enter into his discourse, to argue with him, to seek from him a scrap of identity: "You are..." "Yes, I am..." Ultimately, the attribute is of no importance; what society will not tolerate is that I should be... nothing, or to be more exact, that the something that I am should be openly expressed as provisional, revocable, insignificant, inessential, in a word: irrelevant. Just say "I am," and you will be socially saved.

Barthes, Roland. Preface. Tricks. 1981.

in anticipation of

I had a dream that I was pregnant, and that I was required to join a team of werewolf hunters, and the werewolves were shiny, slippery, wet-looking, covered in afterbirth.

gertrude stein's tender buttons (food)

BUTTER.

Boom in boom in, butter. Leave a grain and show it, show it. I spy.

It is a need it is a need that a flower a state flower. It is a need that a state rubber. It is a need that a state rubber is sweet and sight and a swelled stretch. It is a need. It is a need that state rubber.

Wood a supply. Clean little keep a strange, estrange on it.

Make a little white, no and not with pit, pit on in within.

-1914

in summer 2005 or 2004

at islendingadagurinn, gimli. the only place in the world to buy tiger tiger icecream. also, there are cormorants, and a beach, sunshine, sailboats, etc.

a poem to darken a winter's day

Archaic Torso of Apollo

We do not know his unheard of head,
in which the seeing of his eyes ripened. But
his trunk still glows like a thousand candles,
in which his looking, only turned down slightly,

continues to shine. Otherwise the thrust of the
breast wouldn't blind you, and from the light twist
of the loins a smile wouldn't flow into
that center where the generative power thrived.

Otherwise this stone would stand half disfigured
under the transparent fall of the shoulders,
and wouldn't shimmer like the skin of a wild animal;

it wouldn't be breaking out, like a star, on
all its sides: for there is no place on this stone,
that does not see you. You must change your life.

-Rilke